Resisting release
It is common in healing spaces to hear the word release - “release what no longer serves you,” “release what is holding you back,” “release tension in your body…” And while the ability to release does often bring freedom, peace and space for the new, it does not always feel as simple as saying the word. Which has lead me to wonder:
Why do we often have so much trouble or resistance to release and let go?
According to IFS (Internal Family Systems), we are made up of different parts to complete and make up our being. Some of these parts can include - your inner child, inner teenager, inner critic, the rebel, the controller, the impulsive, etc. All of these parts serve a function and are often developed over time as a result of different experiences and trauma. More often than not, and even more so when it does not seem like it, these parts are often there to keep us safe - especially those that we may label as our protective parts.
At times, these parts ask us for attention through the form of physical sensations or emotional pain and discomfort. That pain, discomfort and energy is what we are often looking to release. Yet, the language may at times suggest that the protective part is what is being released which would be a true, and very real threat to our system. It would make sense that we may then freeze or reject any idea of releasing because that would mean we would be letting go of the very thing that has kept us safe all this time.
So I suggest that maybe instead of telling ourselves we need to release the ______ (inner critic, controller, etc) we reframe to release the energy that we are holding onto.
How might that shift our desire and openness to change?
In the end, the energy is what is holding us back and keeping us stuck in these past ways of being and challenging our ability to move forward. If this all makes sense to you but you find yourself struggling to find ways to release the energy here is a list of things you may want to try:
Moving your body!: shake it out, jump it out, dance it out, run it out, box it out … I think you get the idea. Do some form of movement that can help you shift and release some of the energy that is taking up space in your body.
Use art as a form of release : allow yourself to play and explore using any art material that feels good for you to move energy and release uncomfortable inner sensations.
Visualize it: take some time sitting in mindfulness to identify what the energy looks and feels like in your body (colors, sensations, etc) and then visualize it leaving your body.
Use my Manage Your Anxiety Workbook: this workbook covers my 6 step method to help you identify, release, comfort and explore your inner experience. My method uses principles from IFS to help you identify the parts that may be related to your sensations. While the book is intended for anxiety, it can be used for any uncomfortable sensation that arises. It is easy to follow along and a printable PDF available to you upon purchasing. Click HERE to buy it today!
Whatever you choose to do, I hope you remember that your sensations and parts are your body’s way of asking for attention and rather than trying to “get rid of what does not feel good” maybe you can still shift the energy in a loving and compassionate way.
Disclaimer: the concepts covered in these blog posts are my interpretations and thoughts, they are not intended for research or educational purposes. While I am an Art Therapist, they also do not serve as a substitute for therapy. If you would like to work with me individually and explore these topics further, click here to schedule a consultation call.
